Tuesday, September 13, 2011

72 Days

That's how long it took before I had a mommy-meltdown when dropping Baby J off at daycare. Which is some kind of mom record, right?

Well, loyal readers, today that record was came to a tearful end. Don't worry, I held it together long enough to get to my car. In fact, I even made it out of the parking lot. But then? The tears started flowing. 

Perhaps it was Adele speaking to my soul through the radio. Perhaps it was my sweet baby's giggles as I walked out of his daycare room. But I'm pretty certain what tipped me off were my many recent thoughts of  being a SAHM. 

*gasp*

Yeah, I said it. I wish I could stay home with my baby. While most of you reading are thinking, "duh!" I'm completely caught off guard by these thoughts. 

Having a career has always been a priority to me. I even had convo after convo with my boss-lady on how I never wanted to be a SAHM and that there was no worry about me ever wanting to leave because of J. And? I meant every single word I said.

Unfortunately, things change. As some of you know, I truly never thought I'd be a mom. So, I couldn't even fathom the feeling of leaving my kiddo at daycare every day. And now that I do? I know that it's awful! Okay, okay, not awful. Actually, some days I'm glad I have daycare. You know, like on Mondays after J has spent the entire weekend screaming due to teething. 

But lately {even with the screaming} I've been dying to be home to hold those chunky thighs and cheeks. To giggle and to cry together. To roll around and read together. You know, all those fun things 5 {almost 6} month olds do.

The reality of it is, I have to work. Financially, it's just not an option for me to stay home. 

So, for now, I'll just keep on dreaming and soaking up my 48 hours of baby time on the weekends.

Now, don't you think my mommy record of 72 days deserves a quick vote {click} below? Come on, I know you wanna...

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5 comments:

  1. I clicked! I have an almost 6 month old and I know the feeling. I could look at him all day!!

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  2. I miss my toddler whenever I'm at work. I so look forward to weekends. Stopping by from Monkey Monday bloghop!

    The Twerp and I

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  3. I voted yay! Its ok to have meltdowns love!!

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  4. I'm right with you in your boat. I do enjoy having a sitter on some days but most I just want to be at home with my little girl. I long to be a SAHM but right now its just not in the cards but I'm thankful to have family to watch her while I'm at work!

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  5. Stoping in from Loves of Life, and I am right there with you!! Instead of a breakdown dropping off, I had one picking up. I realized that due to my long day my sweet boy spent ten hours at daycare. Glad there is another working mom out there to experience this with!

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