I Do Not Want To Poo On You

During pregnancy you imagine what life will be like when your baby arrives. For girls like me, who never expected to have kids, you start to realize all the little bits of mess and screaming you'll soon introduce to your routine.

What you can never, ever imagine are the new terms and talking styles that quickly become your sole vocabulary. You know, "baby talk." Words are said in funny, high-pitched noises and sentences are filled with a string of simple words.

But there are some things you can never prepare yourself for. 

Last weekend, is a perfect example...

My MIL was walking through our living room playing with Baby J and I heard her quite loudly say,

"Ohhhhhh, SCAT!" 

I did a double-take in my head. What did she just say?!

Then from the living room I hear Baby J sneeze and then again my MIL exclaims, "Ohhhh, SCAT!"

Are you effing kidding me? Does she not know what that means? Why is she saying that to my baby? I was seriously caught off guard. The look I shot Hubby B must have been priceless. I had no words and from the look on his face he was as speechless as me.

Then, he whispered..."Mom, you know that means shit. And, you know, like references to other things dealing with shit."

She looked at him in pure shock. Took in what he was saying then turned to my sweet baby and said, "I do not want to poo on you. I promise."


The lesson here? Things you never think you'll hear in life quickly become reality when a baby is thrown into the mix. This I know for sure now.

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