Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Found in Faith, Lost in Church

This month J turns 10 months old. I honestly can't believe it. The last ten months have flown by like a quick spring breeze. And just like that I realize I've put off my baby's baptism for almost ten months.

And this, sadly, makes my heart hurt. It's not that we don't have the time, no it's much deeper than that.

My husband and I both grew up in church. However, our church denominations are quite different.

B was very involved with his church. I went every Sunday, attended Sunday school but wasn't involved. He found his faith within the community of his church. I found mine at my summer camp, eventually the place we'd get married.

We both lost our faith as young adults - each for different reasons.

After losing my relationship with God, for what was a very dark time in my life, I found prayer and a new, stronger sense of faith about six months before finding out about Baby J. And now my relationship with God is at its greatest point, ever.

So, why hasn't J been baptized?

While my relationship and faith with God are great, our bond to a church is not.

Like I said, me and the hubs grew up in very different churches. This was never an issue before J or living in South Carolina because honestly {as bad as it sounds} we didn't have time for Church. B always worked Sundays, Wednesday, any time church might be held he worked. Or I worked. Or had class. Whatever the excuse, they were abundant.

B's church does not baptize children. My church does.

This was the initial reason we didn't baptize J. And then? After months of debate and explantaion the hubs graciously agreed to the baptism.

An even bigger issue, where to get him baptized. My mom's church which I like {not love} was the obvious choice. But they are asking us to become members to have J baptized there. And that's just something I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to.

Our views on church differ immensely, but we both easily agree that being raised in church helped shape who we are and that's something we certainly want for J.

I would love for the three of us to go to church together each week {every other week, whenever really}. But, B's place with God is different than mine and I respect that. However, it's time for us to get to church.

Now the question becomes, where?

I want to have J baptized before his first birthday and this may prove to be an obstacle if I can't choose a church for us. 

Do I find a church where J and I will be happy? Perhaps the church where he goes to daycare? It is the church I grew up in. My mom's church? The Pastor there is very kind. Or do we start looking around? I don't even know where I'd begin. Perhaps, my Grandmother's church. It has the most mixture between our denominations. Do I agree to become members at my mom's church so that we can have J baptized and then continue looking for the right church for us?

I'm stuck. All I know is I want my baby baptized in the next 70 some odd days. And that time, my friends, will go by very quickly.

Opinions, thoughts, experiences, etc. on baptism or joining different religious preferences once married with kiddos are very much welcomed below.

6 comments:

  1. We are right there too. Start a church when we will probably move 45 minutes away in the next few years and have to start over? or wait? Or go ahead and travel the 45 minutes now to one closer to where we hope to move?

    I'd ask y'all's friends who are the same stage of life as you because it'd be nice to have an active young adult program as well as lots of things for J as he gets older.

    Best of luck!

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  2. I was late on getting Nolan baptized as well so no worries...I think he was about 6 months, and most people that go to our church do it much earlier. Hmmm...I'm not sure I guess you should see if you can find one but if not you could go with your mom's. Good luck!

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  3. i'm in the same exact boat... i want so bad for the 3 of us to start going, i just need to go and find the right church for US

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  4. Finding a church is not easy. It takes time and trial and error. We went through several before we found the right one for us. It's definitely not something to be rushed into. When it's right you will just know though.

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  5. I wish I had some clever advice but I don't. Craig and I decided quite easily since I am very attached to my religious denomination and he was more flexible. I have a very strong connection to my parent's church since I was raised there and my mother was the youth minister for several years. The good news is that when J is baptized he won't realize that he's older than the other babies. I think it would be more meaningful if you guys found a church together and then maybe baptized him there. I don't know though....tough situation.

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  6. I didn't even realize J hadn't been baptized. I was trying to remember what church you went to and think I know but I have no idea about B. I am a terrible friend... except I bet you don't know mind either. So we are equally terrible friends which means it's ok. Do you have a theme for the bday party yet? I'm ready to write that invitation!!

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