Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Green Envy: Not My Best Color

As I sat at a stoplight Saturday night, I whipped out my phone for a quick look at my Facebook feed. Gah, yes, I said it. I looked at my phone while in the car. Get over it. Please. And to my dismay one of our friends from TN had posted "It's official, we're having another baby! Baby #2 will be here early September!"

I almost vomited right there in the car.

I was not happy for her at all.

I was too jealous to be happy for her.

You see all those I's? Yeah. How vain is that?

You see, this girl, graduated after me, her hubs worked with mine in TN and well she gets to stay home. I have no idea how they are able to do it financially {and yes, it's none of my business} but it makes me jealous. I half want to ask them just to get some budgeting tips. But that would be rude.

Also, their son is three months younger than J. So if we're doing the math, their son is only 7 months old and she is pregnant, due in September. That's a 15 month gap in birthdays. Am I the only one who thinks that's a little nutty? I could never do that! I'm still dealing with so many postpartum complications I couldn't face morning sickness. End. of. story.

Really though, that moment created such a realization for me. It made me realize how badly I want to have more time with J and even our {maybe} Baby #2. I so strongly wish that I could be home with J and our {maybe} Baby #2. And my current 5-year plan had put these goals on hold until B could support us both.

But why not find my own way to still supplement my income and stay home. Why should it be up to the hubs? He works hard and I have no doubt one day he'll get there. But what's the harm in doing it myself?

Let's just say my weekend was inspiration filled thanks to her baby post and several other things that we can talk about another time. I guess I almost owe this friend a thanks for this slap in the face, oh and a congratulations on baby 2.

8 comments:

  1. I've been there and I'm sure..if we were being honest...everyone else has been there too. Hugs!

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  2. I had almost the same weekend. I was rolling in jealousy because a good friend of mine had a "perfect delivery," is in "total love with the most beautiful baby" and everything postpartum "is just splendid." I found myself muttering to myself....just wait til you get that monster home. Sigh. I guess it's just plain old jealousy - I wish my birth experience (and months after) were as wonderful as hers seems to be. I'm right there with you. It's hard not to judge others based on our own situations and experiences.

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  3. it's okay to have these feelings. trust. me.

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  4. Hugs .I have been there too! I think everyone has at some point

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  5. Yep, I've had similar feelings too - I think it's natural when we see someone effortlessly (or looking like it's effortlessly) reaching those life goals we'd so badly like. We're only human, right?

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  6. So been there. Am there if I am being honest actually :)

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