How PCOS Affects Motherhood

At 18, I ruled out having kids.

After my PCOS {Polycystic ovary syndrome} diagnosis, doctors gave me a 2 percent chance of having biological children without the use of IVF. The day I heard those words, it just seemed like something I would never be prepared to handle. So that was that.

There was just one problem...

At the time, Boyfriend B, now Hubby B, had mentioned his desire for kids more than a few times. He even had a name picked out for a little girl. It made my heart melt. I mean, how many men do you come across {at the age of 23!} that have their future daughter's name already picked out?!

August 6, 2010, our positive pregnancy test shot down any notions of life without kids. Upon calling my doctors, they had no explanation except to ask if I was a religious person -- inferring this was simply in God's hands.

I wasn't sure what to expect from pregnancy with PCOS. Let's get real, life not pregnant with PCOS was tough enough. I had finally overcome a major stretch of depression, I had become besties with my esthetician due to my excessive hair growth and I had finally created a semi-regular cycle after four years of different birth control efforts.

It's not easy. In fact, it's down right annoying. My PCOS isn't painful per say. But there are obstacles galore.

Over the last six years, I've learned that each case of PCOS is a little different. And mine? Well, it's certainly one in its own. For me, PCOS is essentially out-of-whack hormones  24/7.

So we began our pregnancy as high risk. This absolutely terrified me. My morning sickness was intense to say the least. And my body was having wave after wave of backlash from the excess hormones.

Pregnancy proved to be a very hard time for me. The estrogen levels my body was enduring sent the rest of my body into complete shock. My body does not handle high estrogen levels well at all! But I just kept my eye on the prize: our sweet baby boy and the relief of my hormones postpartum.

Despite the fact that I thought pregnancy was going to be the death of me every day, we were no longer high risk after week 12. Then at 38 weeks - 2 days we finally met J and my naive self thought my hormones would surely begin to find a better, not make-me-want-to-die pattern. 

Now, ten months postpartum, I'm still waiting for my hormones to go back to normal. 

Over the last ten months, my PCOS has become an entirely different monster. Rather than affecting just my weight and hair, I'm having skin issues. A rare outbreak of psoriasis that for several months caused me to be another high risk patient. I hate being high risk. Nothing good comes with this term. 

It's a daily battle, but over the last month I'm beginning to see my body make changes its never made before. I've left my high risk status in the past, waved goodbye to the dermatologist who thought it was ok for a 23-year-old to be on cancer meds and began a more holistic approach to my PCOS {and psoriasis} diagnosis.

I've got to say, I see myself on the path to normalcy.

Yes, normalcy. For each woman, that term has a different definition, especially those of us with PCOS.

This syndrome is no joke. It's a pesky little disorder that {I've found} is becoming more commonly diagnosed.

The trick to it is finding what works for your body and lifestyle. It's a lot of trial and error, a lot of frustration but in the end it's happiness.

March 23, 2011, J changed my views on kids, my battle with PCOS and well my outlook on life entirely.

I remind myself each day how blessed we are to have been surprised with pregnancy rather than fight with my infertility. On days where my PCOS is reigning over my hormones in every way possible it's tough to remember, but then...I see this guy and it's worth it. Every single minute.

*this is my personal experience with PCOS...I have no medical training, if you'd like to know more do a little Googling**