The Outbreak & The Pacifier

We had a stretch of time where daycare rode a fine line with my patience. In fact, that line became so fine that I began searching for new daycares and putting our name back on waiting lists.

I successfully made J's infant room teachers so mad that they graduated him to the crawler room well before he was developmentally ready. But I thought I'd give it a valient effort. In the end, I turned out to love his crawler room teachers. We hit one bump in the road with his naps early on, but it was quickly resolved with no issues.

Hell must've been freezing over as I danced on rainbows in our new room.

Grab a drink ladies, shit is about to get real.

Let me remind you, January was a rough month for us. J had an ear infection, then a virus, then another ear infection and another virus. Literally, we had just turned a corner on Sunday and seemed to be well on our way to recovery. Thank you, Jesus!

But, alas, I should've known it was too good to be true.

You see, Hand Foot and Mouth disease has been floating around daycare for about two weeks now. As soon as I was alerted it was at J's daycare I asked his teachers to let me know if that nasty virus made its way into his room.

That brings us to Wednesday. My phone rings at's daycare. Immediately my heart sinks, I know it can't be good. I pick up the phone for them to tell me they think J has contracted HFM virus.

I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. Can my poor dude not catch a break already?!

My first thought? How the hell did this happen? Who did he get it from?

Well, lovely you have that drink I told you to get?

The HFM virus had entered J's room last Friday and hit every baby in his room by Wednesday except for J!!!!! I kid you not. It had taken over like the plague and they didn't say one single word to me about it.

To say I was pissed is an understatement. If I would've known it had reached his room, babysitters would've been on call for the entire week. Obviously, my little baby catches anything that comes into that room and I wanted to take all precautions possible. But I wasn't ever given that chance.

The good news? We went to see our BFF aka our pediatrician aka Dr. T and currently J does not have HFM. Yes, the random blister on his wrist is "suspicious". But none on the foot or in the mouth and no fever which was a huge relief.

So, I took him to daycare post-doctor and handed him off. And he'll be back tomorrow. This weekend the daycare is having carpets cleaned, doing an overhaul on the toys, curtains, linens. Everything. And hopefully, that'll be the end of the HFM epidemic.

That was our outbreak of the week. Now, you're probably wondering about the pacifier.

This is a good one people. Quick though, go grab another drink. In my opinion, you'll need it. I know I did.

Let's go back to Tuesday. Yep, Tuesday, before the madness of HFM. I walked into daycare owning the week, Monday was good to us.

As I began to put J down and get his things put away for the day I realized there was a pacifier sitting in his crib. My first thought was that they must've moved him to a new crib because we don't use pacifiers. {it's just my personal preference, no judgies to moms who use them!} 

I walked over to the crib to see it still had his name and photo displayed on the front. Hmmm...

The convo then went something like this:

Me: Why's there a paci in J's crib?
Teacher: Yes, that's his.
Me: No it's not.
Teacher: Well, you never brought him one so we gave him that one.
Me: {appauled and disgusted} Yeah, that's because we don't use pacifiers...When do you give it to him?!
Teacher: Whenever he gets fussy or goes to sleep.
My inner thoughts: Bitch said what!?
My actual comment: Well, we don't use them. Please don't ever give him one unless he is inconsolable.
Teacher: {looks at me stunned} Um, okay.

For real, y'all, pacifiers are a parental decision. Not something your daycare chooses! I chose not to give J a pacifier. He was always disinterested as an infant so I thought why push it on him just to make a war of taking it away 18 months later??

I stewed over this pacifier incident for the next 24 hours and promptly went into daycare the next morning and told them never, ever to give my child a pacifier. Once again, I got crazy looks. His teacher told me he was too young. Too young for what? He's never needed one when I'm around. That says something to me.

I won't lie, J has a habit of sucking on his fingers {occasionally}, which has gotten worse lately. I chocked it up to teething, but the more I think about it, it's because at home he's got no paci which apparently he's become used to.

To begin to remedy the finger sucking, I asked that they just gently remove his hands from his mouth. I was then told that he is too young to understand that.

Are you kidding me? This ten month old may not understand immediately, but if he can now understand that I'm "mama" and the dogs are "oof oof" I think if we encourage him to get those fingers out of his mouth he'll get it sooner or later!

Furthermore, I come from a dental family. And I know my dental background as well as my husband's. And our bites are both awful, we both had tongue thrusts {and yes I realzie I'm speaking foreign to some of you right now} and those issues are NOT cheap to fix. J already has six teeth and having a paci can be detrimental to him even at such a young age. Yes, there are orthodontic friendly pacis, but the one they gave him {eww} was not.


Thank God it's Friday, right?!

Daycare dropped the ball this week. And I want to give them the benefit of the doubt but I'm a little upset right now. I had made the tough decision to keep him there rather than moving him to a nanny.  He just loves the socialization so much I couldn't bring myself to take him away from his friends. Let's just say I'm now reconsidering. Not only will we be saving money with this nanny, but she'll actually do what she's asked. Or not asked. If I've never brought the kid a pacifier I'm obviously not worried about it!!! AH!

I could go on forever. But let's wrap this up.

My hopes are that J will be able to continue to fight off the HFM shiz, the sun will keep shining and we can get some quality mama-baby time this weekend.

Happy Friday to my favorite people ever...that's all of you!

Now, let the daycare opinions fly! I've got to know what you think!


  1. Girl I'm FUMING for you over here!

    I'm so glad he didn't catch HFM (some consolation if he does---it's like chicken pox and he won't get it again). That doesn't help I know. But anyway I cannot believe these people. They are not taking your parental decisions to mind at all and then making you feel stupid for having made them.

    So are you back to thinking of switching daycares?

    You are a strong, loving, inspiring mother. Don't forget that either!

  2. Girl... I would seriously be raising hell too! That is just nonsense. I use a private nanny for my daughter but as a favor for my neighbor i drop her son off at daycare a few days a week and they are horrible! Rude and unfriendly and I am thinking... If your this hostile wih me... An adult.... How are you treating this kid?!?

    As far as the HFM... They should have cleaned carpets, sanitized toys and beds when they had the first outbreak. Waiting over a week is neglectful and incompetent.

    Good luck on your quest for new child care. I hope you find someone fantabulous to watch Mr. J.

  3. I worked at a daycare in college and whenever a child contracted something like that, a huge note was posted on the door to the room as well as on top of the sign out sheet that listed the disease and all the associated symptoms. That's a management and policy issue, granted the individual room teachers should have let people know.

    And about the pacifier. I commend you for being so strong and confident in your parenting decision. If I were in your spot, I would feel like I was doing something wrong for NOT noticing that a pacifier soothes my child. I would start looking into different daycare options. Even if you have a nanny, there are plenty of play groups out there as well as toddler classes (especially once J starts to walk and be even more mobile) for him to get all the socialization that he needs.

  4. That's really frustrating. The teachers are paid professionals and should act as such: momma is boss! I get that it is hard to keep up with each baby's specific routine and "rules" but that's their job!

  5. I hate how disrespectful of your wishes they are and how they seem to make decisions about and for your chi,d without notification or consent!

    I'd personally find a new daycare or like others have said, the nanny and a play group J would enjoy.

  6. Girl I don't know how you don't slap some of thoe peeps in the face. I realize they take care of your child during the day but seriously you are paying them to do a job---so they should do it the way you ask. I would be so mad right now if I was you!

  7. OMG girl I dont even know what to say!

  8. Oh my goodness!! Ughh, that is their job to listen to you. And good for you on the dental front coming from a dentist! I wish all my patients had this knowledge.

  9. Yikes! What an ordeal! I have a 11 month old girl and it's so tough when people think they know better. We were at a birthday party and she toddled up to a lady and that lady gave her a bite of her COOKIE before I could blink. Yes, she gave my baby a cookie. What??? Some people! I hope the daycare peeps turn a corner for the better.

    PS. My girl says oof oof too. Cute! :)

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