Monday, April 2, 2012

The Hard Part of Parenthood

"You did good," said Dr. T at our 12 month check-up. 

I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. When you spend at least three times a month {minimum} at your pediatrician's office, you often question if you're doing anything right. Those three words, that simple phrase, it meant so much. It was the reassurance I needed as we entered a new chapter.


A year ago, I presumed we'd have ear issues but never the chronic case we've endured. I spent most of last month yelling at doctors and nurses to help my child and to care about our family. I made it known I was there to take care of my child despite anything else. And that's just what I did last month. Hell that's what I've done all year. 

Every day has been an uphill battle. Jack's chronic ear infections and congestion have hit us hard. Multiple doctors are at a loss, blaming illnesses on his age and offering no solution. That's why I'm here though, to stand up for him.


When I imagined our first year with J, I only thought about the laughs we'd share, the places we'd go and the things we'd do. It never crossed my mind that we might be that 5 percent of kids who can't shake the sickies {ear infections} even when following doctors orders. It never crossed my mind that my PPD would come and go or that that I'd have a rare and severe outbreak of psoriasis. 


The hardships, they came at us this year and at times they certainly pulled us down.


We put on brave faces {and sometimes silly faces}, day after day.


The first year of parenthood has come to an end and I've found the only thing to be a complete constant is B.

The man always told me he wanted to be a parent and boy has he stepped up. I had no doubts, but to see it actually come to be is heartwarming. Despite my many weekly trips with J to the doctor solo, B was always working hard and there to listen when I needed to vent. 


Many days I look back and know I should have been stronger for B, but you cannot change the past. Through it all, I am so thankful to have such a wonderful partner. He's proven to be the rock of our family. We certainly wouldn't have made it through this year without his strength.


This first year of parenthood has been trying to say the least. Moving forward to our second year, I hope to be more patient, kind-worded and laid-back. Toddlerhood reared its ugly little head for the first time this weekend as we attempted to eat out Friday night. Ha! We won't be doing that again any time soon...

Lord knows, this year is going to be an adventure but if we can make it through infancy together I'm confident we make it through this as well. Plus, a little wine to calm the nerves never hurt anybody.

photos from a beautiful spring day March 10, 2012

11 comments:

  1. Ohhh Erin, I don't think you give yourself enough credit! Being a mommy and going through all of the changes that we do is very hard. I know that you are an amazing mommy and wife. I hope baby J gets better soon and the ear infections stop. I had chronic ear infections when I was a wee babe. Bad. In and out of hospitals. And as soon as my tonsils were removed (I was 4 1/2) the ear infections stopped. Hang in there momma!

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  2. what an amazing post Erin. You are an AMAZING mother through and through. And i'm so happy you have a great husband as a father by your side. I hope that year two will be better in terms of health for the little man.

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  3. Oh, sweetie, you are TOO HARD ON YOURSELF! You fight for this angel like crazy, and you are an amazing mama! It's hard. It's SO HARD when suddenly you're The Mom and in charge of Making It All Better - I know this because I sent my own child to the ER 2 weeks ago :)

    We do the best we can & rely on God's grace...and thank Him profusely that they won't remember all the mistakes we've made!!!

    Here's to Year Two!

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  4. You ARE an amazing mother; I agree! God placed that kind, caring, patient man in your life for this very reason, and the two of you together are the best parents, the parents He chose, for J. Believe in that. No one could mother that baby like you can and do either.

    I pray that the ear infection business gets taken care of soon, but yea like the dr. said -- you are doing a great job!

    I love this post. It's full of all of the emotions that I have about this whole motherhood journey, sometimes emotions I have all in one day! Heck, all in one morning or afternoon!
    Hope y'all have a calm, stress-free week! (Oh yea, and we hardly go out for dinner with W. It's just so much easier to stay in and everyone's happy!)

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  5. You did a wonderful job! Don't doubt yourself. Honestly! Now let's look forward to year 2 :)

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  6. You are a wonderful mother, and it's ok to admit that. :) So sorry this was such a trying year for you guys. Beautiful pictures btw. :)

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  7. I know just how you feel. My son contracted RSV when he was just 5 months old. Now, he can't even get a cold or even a tiny case of the sniffles without being unable to breathe, without a million breathing treatments, without lung steroids to try to battle the damage that RSV caused him way back in November. I feel like we live at the pediatrician's office, bringing him to listen to his lungs because he can't just get a cold like a 'normal' kid. Sometimes I feel like I just messed everything up for him somehow. But you are doing an amazing job...you are a wonderful mother. The love you have for your family shines through so much in all of your posts. <3

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  8. You are a great mom lovely friend!

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  9. Just looking at that smile I know you did good! Parenthood more than anything reminds me of the saying, "No one said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it!"

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  10. You are a wonderful mommy and J knows it! :) This toddlerhood will keep you on your toes for sure!

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  11. It gets easier hon! You are doing great!!
    ♥ Kyna

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