I Believe...

in God's grace. In His plan. In prayer.

I believe that He continues to guide us each day through our faith. But that He tests that faith on a daily basis.

This week has been a tough one for my family.

In a tweet this morning I asked that you pray for us.

Jackson has his first ear infection in over six weeks. Whether or not this will be the beginning of yet another awful string of infections is in His hands. We are juggling family members to watch him as daycare says he's not allowed after he threw up yesterday. But my faith stays strong.

Brandon woke up sick Monday morning. We assumed a stomach virus and sent him to the doctor. It was indeed a virus but they feared possibly something more. So he went to the hospital for a CT scan. The scan revealed a tumor. Non-cancerous. Thank the Lord. But his constant pain is still unexplained. He goes to a gastro radiologist today for further poking and prodding. Something is not right, and we have no clue what it may be. But my faith stays strong.

I hang onto my last shred of sanity and ask for your prayers.

That is, until B calls this morning with tragic news.

A friend's wife passed away yesterday while in surgery. She was on the brink of her third trimester.

Instantly, my prayer requests shift from our family to his.

And now my faith begins to waiver.

Faith is a funny thing. I often find I question my faith most when it is needed the most. I'm left nearly speechless after the events of this week. Drained. Helpless.

I find myself at work having an out-of-body type of day. It is beyond my comprehension why His plan would involve taking a kind, {very young} woman away from her husband, her family and friends. Why our friend must now know the pain of losing a wife and child before the age of 30.

How could this be His plan?

And now I dig deep for faith. For guidance. For trust in His plan.

I'll ask that you hug you're loved ones tight. Forget the pettiness of whatever qualm you've had and just forgive. Forget that your crazy toddler has refused to eat or nap for days. Forget that your budget is tighter than you'd ever want. There is, unfortunately, no promise of tomorrow. So take advantage of today.

Prayers for our friend are very much appreciated.