Friday, June 8, 2012

When We're Having Baby #2

It's a question that some people ask as soon as you've popped out the first one. Some give you a month to recover and others will even grace you with an entire year before popping the question.

When are you having another baby?

For us, it was 14 months before the question started floating around.

Perhaps they gave me a prolonged period to ponder this question because they knew Jackson was technically a whoopsie. Perhaps they've been waiting for us to get settled. Or perhaps, they're seeing Brandon and I finally get in sync with this parenthood gig {the secret to parenthood coming Monday!}.

Whatever the reason, it's happened. The question is out there.

When are we going to make Jackson a big brother?

The question came first from my MIL. I wasn't surprised. I mean come on, she'd spent nine days straight with Jackson. Spoiling her very first grandson until he was rotten in a matter of a week and a half. How could she not wonder when we'd give her another one??

My real surprise came Sunday when we went to pick up Jack from my mom's. Apparently, on her Saturday-night walk, my Grandmother asked when we'd be having another. I would never expect this question from her, ever! I'm not sure why, but I just wouldn't.

So how'd I respond to this question?

With no hesitation I blurted out, we'd love to be having another....

And that's the truth, we would.

But?

Our bank account is already laughing at us. We could not financially even begin to consider a second baby right now. And I've somewhat come to terms with that.

Because in reality? I'm not ready either. Not physically, not emotionally, not spiritually.

And with this, I've got an idea of terms beginning to form for Baby #2. As we already know, you can never truly plan for a baby, but a girl can always dream.

Interested to hear some notions I've concocted for sweet B2?

1. Jackson has to be potty-trained.
    Having two diaper payments and formula is no laughing matter.

2. We'd need to be closer to moving into a new home.
     I don't want two toddlers in this house.

And the #1 requirement for B2...

3. I must be able to stay home or work from home. 
    For me, this one is not a compromise. I will be home for B2. No more of this daycare bullshit.
    I want the opportunity to be more present for this time with Jackson and any siblings he has.

So, when are we having another baby?

If this timeline goes as planned, it'll be a couple years. And that's quite alright, because it's what's best for us, even if it doesn't cure my current case of baby fever. :)

How long did you wait for baby #2 or are you still waiting?

18 comments:

  1. Xander was born 9 days before his older brother's 2nd birthday. For us, we liked the idea of our kids being pretty close in age. We moved into a bigger house when Jack was 10 months old. You know what what they say. . .new house, new baby!

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  2. You do what is best for you and your family! We started hearing the "when will there be another" like a month after C was born, ha! Whenever you do have another he/she will be adorable, though. Jackson is just too cute.

    For us we started trying for baby #2 when C was 7 months old (we are nuts I know). It didn't happen until she was 15 months though. The kids will be 23 months apart so that seems like a good gap for us.

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  3. Shhh... don't tell anyone... but we're 9 weeks along with our SURPRISE baby #2! The plan was to wait another year, for the same reasons you listed, but here we are! I'm still a little in shock. :)

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  4. Because we've been together for so long, and are just now getting around to getting married, I get asked all the time when we are going to have a baby. People just quit asking me about getting married and skipped straight to the baby.

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  5. I am 27 weeks and mom has ALREADY asked me that! lol. My response, lets get through this one first! I haven't even HAD the kid yet let alone think about another one!

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  6. Girl its not different then the "so when are yall getting married" question. People have to do things in their time. Tell them to suck it!

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  7. Mine are about 2.5 years apart, however, I was asked "when's the next one?" within 6 months. My hubby's side of the family have kids who are 14 months apart and wanted us to follow usit.

    Have another one when you are ready (I agree about 2 in diapers). I found it be a such a different adjustment to having 2 compared to 1

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  8. My midwife asked me when I want to have the second one literarily as soon as Giada got out of my birth canal. Yeah, like you feel like doing this allover again any time soon.
    I think having a game plan and getting the ducks in a row is a good idea. I would LOVE to be a stay at home momma for my kiddos, but unfortunately that will most likely never happen. I guess I just gotta accept it and move on.

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  9. I think those are good conditions I would have.
    We want to start having babies and I would love to stay home with them but sadly that won't be in our plan as of right now.

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  10. Our kiddos are 2 years and 3 months apart. I love that age gap. Hannah Wes potty trained a few months after Colson was born so we didn't have to diaper 2 kiddos for very long.

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  11. It will happen at the right time. There is never enough time to be prepared. Never. We are currently working on baby #3 (#1 for me) and somedays I think- well it could be easier to wait 10 years when O&G are born so like we have some money and I also so do not want to take any attention away from them. It will happen and when it does it will be the perfect time. All will fall into place.

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  12. Oh gosh, my MIL asked me 16 hours after my c-section with Aubrey...thank god they had me on some awesome pain killers otherwise I may not have said the nicest of things.

    If we could afford number 2 I would totally go for it once my body has healed from the section (I want a VBAC). However, I too, have conditions for when we will start trying and so far it looks like it'll be about a year.

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  13. THIS! SO! MUCH! Everything you said here applies to us, too. Ideally, I want to start trying when Ethan is 3 or 3 1/2. I do stay at home with Ethan and our days are filled with mommy and me classes and playdates. I want to be able to do the same with another baby without either (new baby or Ethan) sacrificing any of this Mommy Time. I would like to have another baby when Ethan is in preschool, when he is out of diapers, etc. Babies are EXPENSIVE and we need MONEY to regroup, not just NOW with diapers and formula but in 18 years from now when it comes to COLLEGE and CARS and the big stuff. A few years to save in between could be beneficial. I don't think I'd be heartbroken if an "oops" happens, but it definitely wouldn't be ideal.

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  14. Our plan is to wait until 2013. We've made a major life decision (house, engaged, baby, PPD) every year for the past four years so we're taking 2012 off to just enjoy our life and family without any disruptions. I'd also like Natalie to be bigger and out of diapers before having another child. So.....maybe September of 2013? That would make them a little over 3 years apart. Close enough to sometimes play together but far enough apart to not smother each other in school and everything. And then there is that little fear about a PPD repeat and I want Natalie to be more self-sufficient in case Momma goes a little cuckoo again. :)

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  15. Oh gosh....this question has been asked of us a MILLION times. Ellie is 2.5 and everyone thinks we have already waited too long. Funny though, I am completely okay with our kiddos being 4+ years apart. I just want to enjoy all this time with Ellie as our only child right now. We are having a blast as a family of 3, and I know that will all change with another baby (not that it won't be awesome...it will just be very different). We aren't going to even start trying until Ellie is almost 3.5 years old. I am going to savor the next year with only one kiddo! :-)
    ♥ Kyna

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  16. Yep that is the famous questions...of course we are having #2 but wonder when the next question starts coming "Are you trying for a girl next?" As if my two boys are just not cool enough b/c they are male. It will happen when it is supposed to...no need to rush. Love this post my friend!

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  17. We're still waiting.

    Ideally, we would prefer that hubby be full-time finally at his career job (UPS) and not working 2 jobs ~60hrs a week. If we're going to have multiples around here, I could use another adult around here half the time for relief. This could happen in the next 6 months or the next 6 years though, so there's really no telling (he's in the process of getting the promotion and has completed all the necessary requirements of the process thus far, but we're waiting on the company's end for the next step to happen and once he's completed all the steps he has to wait for an opening in our area to become available).

    Originally we were going to wait til after Jay's 2nd birthday and he had his ureter surgery, but as of his last check-up on it (and assuming his next two 6 month check-up appointments continue to show positive results) it seems he most likely won't need the surgery! Even still, hubby wants to wait til at least then to begin thinking about it, just in case this last check-up was a fluke and Jay still needs to have the surgery - we want to be able to be there 100% for Jay and not have to feel guilty about sharing our attention during an important and confusing time for him.

    So it's going to be at least another good year or so, that's for sure! We definitely want to have at least 1 more child though, maybe 3 total.

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    Replies
    1. I should add though - our chiropractor was on me about when #2 was going to happen ever since we started going regularly (hubby for foot pain, me for my back) when Jay was only about 4 or 5 months old. He's not much older than us and I guess his kids are about a year and a half or 2 years apart... he says it's the perfect gap! It got a bit annoying after while though, luckily he stopped asking! LOL

      Hubby does have a cousin who has 2 that are barely a year apart though. I don't know how his wife does it with 2 in diapers - definitely not ideal for us!

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