Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Everything Changes

*this post has been linked with Two in Diaper's Mommy-Brain Mixer. Find more details here*

As mothers, we're documenters.  In turn, we pride ourselves on monthly updates throughout the first years of our children's lives. And without fail, every month is proclaimed the favorite and every milestone the greatest yet.


But a day will come when you miss an update. Trust me, it happens. Your mom guilt will overtake you body and soul. Mom guilt is a funny thing that way. Something as simple as a monthly post pulls at your heart as if you'd failed him a million times over.

Can I be honest?

When the day actually arrives, I've blinked and an entire month has passed. The many memorable highlights of the last thirty days have faded into a blur of past and present and the few notes I jotted down don't seem to do the time justice.


Take for instance the pre-second-haircut Jackson above. His second 4th of July was spent playing at the pool followed by some running around the yard. Oh and that outfit, the one he only wore once (like most of his closet).

Somehow, that day, that month, has changed him. I've blinked and that shaggy-haired kid has grown, accomplished and loved in ways that are vastly different than the months before.


Christmas cause-and-effect toys. Check.
Growth Spurt. Check. 
Adding to the vocabulary. Check. {dog, ball, bowl, trash}
Displaying genuine emotional connections to people and places. Check.


Seemingly similar cycles of months do not exist anymore. Even the minuscule second when he smiles or laughs with a new inflection changes who he is. It changes who I am as a mother. 

Much like when, out of the blue, Jackson started chanting "Yah!" in the deepest toddler voice known to man. Brandon and I took a quick look at each other then proceeded to die laughing. This hint of a deep voice has continued all month. And while he still hits those high notes like a champ, his voice has grown. I literally hear my baby becoming a boy. 


Layers deeper than the various milestones in monthly updates, we attempt to capture the empowering love of our child. Not the love for our child, but truly his love of us, of life, of family and even of his silly four-legged friends.


It's a profound love, rooting itself further into our hearts each month through change.

38 comments:

  1. My heart melts.
    No mommy guilt, love. I can tell you from here, the amazing mother you are is just jumping off the screen.
    Enjoy it. Live it. And never feel bad about whether it makes it to print. It's about being in the moment, and letting that rest in your memories and in your heart.

    Love to you, friend.
    xoxo

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  2. Awe, you both are so sweet!!! I think around J's age I felt the same with Wyatt. It all happens so fast. So much happens so fast! But you have it all. It's in your head, your heart. But yes, do keep documenting so we can all see too! :)

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  3. Beautiful post, I've noticed my son's voice has changed a lot in the last few months :)

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  4. This is so well written.
    It's sad that there are times where it feels like we blink and our child(ren) have grown into completely new people but at the same time, even though we don't write everything down, we love seeing them change and grow.
    I can't believe my first baby is going to be 4 in 70 days. Man, that was one long blink that I just had because these 4 years have flown by!

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  5. I totally feel like I am forgetting so many memorable moments because I haven't taken the time to write them all down (I actually did some of that for a post for tomorrow). The time just goes SO fast and its so easy to get caught up in living in the minute!!! Jackson is SO precious...and your pictures are absolutely stunning!!! Don't feel guilty...the pictures will tell the story:)

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  6. Hey girl! I'm stopping by from the blog hop. I'm one of the co-hosts! Thanks for linking up!

    I hope you had an awesome day! :)

    -Alexis
    www.livingthewifestyle.com

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  7. Hey lady!! I just found your cute blog via the hop, and I'm your newest follower! I'd also love to have you check out a fabulous Triple Giveaway I'm having right now!!

    Hope to see you there! And thanks so much!
    xo

    http://emilymmeyers.blogspot.com/2012/08/triple-winner-giveaway.html

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  8. Sometimes life does just zoom past us and I too feel like I miss documenting some special moments. Our little ones are growing up so quickly and the changes that take place are just magical!

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  9. Hi Erin!
    I'm visiting from Family Darr. Newest follower via GFC. What a beautiful baby you have. :)

    I'd love for you to check out my blog and follow back. www.jamscorner.com

    Have a great day!
    Julie

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  10. This is wonderfully written!
    I was just telling my hubby that I think Mackenzie grew in her sleep and looks older all of a sudden. When did that happen??

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  11. First of all, J has such gorgeous eyes! I love the mix of green, gold, and brown.

    Secondly, I am right there with you. I brought home a baby at the beginning of summer and I'm dropping off a little girl next week when I go back to work. Tear.

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  12. Ohhh my gosh, my heart melted. I adore this post. Such true, true words. <3

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  13. You are an amazing momma, and MUCH better at documenting his milestones than I am!!! This is an awesome, sweet post hon!
    ♥ Kyna

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  14. Stopping over from mommy mixer. What a cutie! I'm a new follower!

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  15. this is so so precious... the pictures and the post itself. i wish i documented more. i mostly capture conversations, but i could be doing so much more.. stopping by from the mommmy mixer =)

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  16. Time flies! Enjoy it while you can :) - Visiting from the mixer!

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  17. Beautiful photos and post. What a lovely boy you have.
    Happy Little Feet

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  18. Stopping by from the Mommy-Brain Mixer! Lovely blog!

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  19. I am all to familiar with the mama guilt! I guess it does come with our sought after title! Your son is darling! Our little guys look around the same age!

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  20. Your photo are absolutely beautiful, as are your words. So glad, I found you (via the mixer) and look forward to reading more. Beautiful blog design by the way. All the best, Monica

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  21. Beautiful post and beautiful pictures, friend! I think, dare I say it, that this is my fave post you've written!!!!

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  22. hey there- stopping by from the mommy mixer-thanks for co-hosting. have a great day!

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  23. While documenting the milestones is wonderful, you will always have the memories committed to heart. He's such a beautiful boy.

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  24. This is beautiful...It literally brought tears to my eyes! Motherhood is such an emotional journey and so much about us growing up in addition to our children growing up.

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  25. Oh and it never stops!! What a sweet post.. I just sent my oldest to FIRST GRADE!! How did that happen?? All those 'endless' baby and toddler moments have vanished and he really is becoming a young man.. Motherhood can be so painful at times!
    Following you from the Mommy-Brain Mixer. :)
    http://lifeonmavenue.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-mom-lets-chat.html

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  26. Hi, thanks for co-hosting the mommy brain mixer. I am now a follower. Do visit my blog when you get a chance!

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  27. He is adorable!!!! New follower from the mixer! Love your blog, super fun!
    Misty @ http://monkeysandtutus.blogspot.com

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  28. Your son is beautiful! I can relate to your mommy guilt. Life seems to flash by so fast that it's impossible to capture and reflect on all those precious moments and changes. I'll start to get teary-eyed just thinking about it. I found you through the Mommy Brain Mixer blog hop and am your newest follower. I hope you'll check out my blog at thedomesticatedprincess.blogspot.com and decide to follow me back.

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  29. did I ever tell you just how much I love this post?!? I still can't believe how big he is getting!

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  30. Oh I've missed so many updates, and that Mommy guilt feeling is so true. There's just no way I can put into words, what she has done or how she has changed in the course of the last month!

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  31. Ugh. Mommy guilt... I breathe it some days! This is so beautifully written and so is your photography. Your little guy's eyes are just to die for! Thanks again so much for co-hosting with me this week, friend! I can't wait to see what you have in store for next week! :)

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