Can I Sub Out?

Pushed to our limits, Brandon and I found ourselves pleading to Sulli {grandma} for babysitter time this weekend. The thing of it is, we've been in dire need of extra babysitters often lately. Not because of a busy schedule, but because we just need time to refresh our sanity levels.

We're worn. Frazzled. Exhausted. Insert every other applicable synonym; that's us.

Between cutting 2-year old molars, a nightmare of sleep regressions and the onset of 2-year tantrums, we as parents find ourselves at a loss. Days are spent working our tushes off to pay bills, then we're welcomed home by a toddler who both wants to be attached to our leg but not have us in the same room. Which, FYI, none of us have figured out how to make happen yet. 

The #1 word in our house is currently no. From both the wild toddler and sleep deprived parents, we all seem to be set on repeat.  So? We started time-out last weekend, and my heart may have shattered to a million pieces in those 60 seconds. 

And then? Then there's the sleep regression. The blood curling screams. The far too early mornings which really still fall in the "nigh nigh" category. Jackson's days of wanting to sit in bed with mommy and daddy are gone. That sure went quickly

Officially one week shy of being 22 months old, it's safe to say the real two-year tantrum tendencies have arrived. And, well, it's more challenging than expected. 

To pile onto our already overloaded plates, we each seem to be getting a case of the sickies. Curse! 

Brandon looked to me the other night, lost in parenthood, and asked me, how? how do we do this? In that moment. All I could think was that silly little engine's mantra. 

I think I can. 
I think I can. 
I think I can.

It's in these cycles we question ourselves the most as parents. Are we doing this right? How could we do this with two? Are we insane for thinking we can add another to our brood next year? In this moment, at this juncture we'd be crazy. Hell all I want in the world right now is the largest stock of white wine known to man and just one whole week to sleep past 5 a.m.

But If there's anything I've learned in parenting thus far though is this too shall pass and those moments of joy will rise above. These weeks take more faith, more fight, more forgiveness and more love. 

No matter the strife of our days, each night when I lay my head to rest I know we're blessed. 
He's our miracle and I'll never forget that.

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