My Heart: On Adoption

A seed was planted in my heart before I could fully grasp the notion of adoption.

I couldn’t have been thirteen when I first heard my calling to adopt. A couple from our church had been in the adoption process for years and were finally preparing to bring their baby home. Even now, I can feel the lump in my throat, tears in my eyes and joy in my heart as I type those words.

Our church rallied around this couple, prayed for them, assisted in fundraising and then after years of paperwork and prayer they were going to be parents, they were bringing their baby home. It was a beautiful thing that first Sunday their son attended church. I remember looking over to the pew where they sat and feeling sheer joy and peace.

Adoption: it was something that I wanted for my life, and I had no wavering in my heart as to this fact.

Years later, I sat in my doctor’s office with a numb heart she told me of infertility issues I'd experience without medical intervention. I thought, perhaps, this is why He planted the seed of adoption in my heart at such a young age. It was to prepare me for that very moment in life. Because in all the sadness of not having biological children, I knew it did not mean I would never be a mother.

I’ve never pushed or even talked too much about my hopes for adoption with Brandon. Mainly, because in a brief mention of it, I could see that his heart wasn’t ready for the idea and I can respect that.

Despite my silence on the topic of adoption in day-to-day life, my heart has by no means closed to this calling. I have spent time reading other blogs dealing with adoption, I’ve supported fundraisers and friends and lifted prayers, but I have never been so close to the adoption process that it moved me body and soul until this year.

This year changed everything. This year the seed grew tenfold. This year my heart was open to the true process of adoption, the good, the bad and the very ugly. This year when I thought I knew all there was to an adoption, my faith was tested, my heart was slain and my call to adopt was given the ultimate test.

And now, I work to collect the truths I've witnessed and how they've altered my heart, my perception of my truths and even more of His truths. I'm still collecting my thoughts on this topic. 

Expect to be back here again before we finish out the 31 Days of Writing My Heart series. If you have any specific thoughts to share on the topic of adoption, I'd love to hear them.

This is the twelfth post in the 31 Days of Writing My Heart series.

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